Comfort Me
by Sparkling Amethyst
Summary: Edward slips. He kills an innocent human. Now, when he feels the absolute worst about himself, there's only one thing on his mind. He flees to the still-human Bella for comfort. He knows she's the only one who can 'fix him', but he's close to losing his mind. How many times can he apologize before she can't forgive him? Bella is not prepared for this. One-shot only.


**Disclaimer - I don't own the Twilight Saga.**

* * *

The lifeless corps dropped from Edward's arms. He lifted his arm to whip the blood from his lips with his sleeve, swallowing the last delicious mouthful. His tongue swiped over his teeth, knowing that the red liquid was a thick coat over their whiteness. He closed his eyes, savoring it, before the last of the blood was cleared out of his throat and mouth.

He frowned when the taste was gone, leaving only the satisfying fullness of his stomach as a memory. A young, brown-haired man who'd just left a bar, walking out on his cheating wife had been walking home when he and Jasper had waltzed by. He'd been so upset and depressed that Edward just couldn't let him go on like that – he was doing the man a favor, he'd reasoned just before his teeth had made contact with the man's jugular. He'd been so miserable. Edward had helped him. He was in a better place now. A place Edward would never go, but still. He would feel no pain after that death.

The world, it seemed, was floating around him. His body was flying. Everything was heightened for him – his eyesight, his hearing, his sense of smell, the feeling of the texture of his thin shirt in between his fingers. He felt . . . _strong_. But it wasn't the dull, haphazard strength that he always had to hold back to avoid killing the humans around him. Sure, he would still have to hold back – maybe more, now – but at least he felt . . . _good_. He felt _alive_ for the first time in eighty years. He'd forgotten the high that human blood could offer a vampire.

Behind him, further down the abandoned ally, Jasper dropped his kill. Oh – perhaps the man wouldn't be pain-free, now that is deceitful wife was up there with him.

"Was he as delicious as he smelled?" Edward's brother asked, voice thick with the blood that he had just swallowed. "She was lacking. Bitter, almost. I was disappointed."

Edward shrugged, but before he could say anything, he was looking into the eyes of the man who'd saved his life a thousand times over. Carlisle Cullen gazed into Edward's newly reddened eyes and his own widened in shock. His lips parted but no sound came out until he finally forced out, "No."

"Yes," Jasper mocked. Edward felt his hand clasp down onto his shoulder. "Edward gets it. He understands. Carlisle, we've been fighting for too long. It's time we start living the right way. This fight is going to give us the chance to change our ways." Edward didn't quite comprehend his words. The blood that was steaming in his stomach was still releasing a relaxing feeling all over his body.

Edward's mind hadn't and would never realize that Jasper was the one forcing those emotions on him to keep him on his side.

Carlisle's face crumpled. "What fight?" he demanded, but his voice held no strength. He was defeated. He knew that, now that his first son, his first companion, had given into Jasper's relentless persuasion attempts . . . now, it wouldn't take the rest of his family long to follow behind. "What fight?" he asked again, his realization pushing the words out more forcefully. "The fights happening in Mexico? Jasper, we have nothing to do with those! We're on a completely different continent! The northernmost part of this continent to be exact!"

"That doesn't matter!" Jasper yelled. "I _know _Maria! She'll conquer that entire country and move south to all of those Spanish countriesand then move right onto the United States before we know it! We have to be prepared, Carlisle. We have to be useful to her when she gets here. Because she will. She will get here, and if we aren't of use to her, we're dead. We're gone. Or is that what you want? Huh? You've lived three hundred years and that's enough? Well, it's not for me. I haven't given Alice everything she wants out of life yet. I'm not ready to go."

Now that his brother had been distracted from using his gifts, the warm, fuzzy, relaxed feeling that Edward had been feeling suddenly vanished.

And what was replaced was pure gilt. He stared down at the dead body at his feet. He could already smell the decomposition it was undergoing, even though humans wouldn't be able to detect it for a few days. His eyes were cracked open. The puncture of Edward's teeth on his neck was swollen, as was to be expected. His skull was cracked from the force that he'd been gripping it, causing his face to be deformed. The body was mangled almost beyond recognition. Not like the humans would ever find the body anyway. Jasper was already planning the "burial" spot – a fire pit somewhere in the woods.

Edward couldn't believe he had let his brother push him into that – into killing an innocent. What if another vampire had once stumbled upon Bella? Edward could never –

_Oh, God. _

_ Bella. _

She would hate him now. Of course she would.

"What you feed on is your decision, Jasper," Carlisle said, not noticing Edward's sudden grief and despair over his actions. "But forcing those choices on the rest of our family by manipulating our emotions is uncalled for, and you know it."

"I'm not manipulating _your _emotions, Carlisle," Jasper defended, crossing his arms across his chest defiantly. "Who's to say I'm manipulating _anyone's_?"

"I am," Carlisle snapped. "I'm saying it."

Jasper raised an eyebrow. "Is that so?"

"What he just did," Edward's father began, jabbing a finger in his son's direction, "is not him. That was not Edward. Edward doesn't kill innocent people. He doesn't kill _guilty _people, bad people. He doesn't _kill people_. He has not – _had_ not," he corrected himself, "killed a human in over eighty years. And now he has. And now he'll be tortured with the guilt he'll feel. And think of what Bella will say! Think of what Bella will say to him! She'll be furious."

_Bella_, Edward thought. His face crumpled in sadness.

_But it was me_, the monster inside him added. _It was me. All Jasper had to do was make me feel better about it. It wasn't him forcing me to do it – he was just making me feel good about it. _

"And that is my concern?" Jasper laughed. "That doesn't mean a thing to me – _Bella's _feelings. My only concern is _Alice_ and her happiness." He eyed Carlisle. "Hasn't being a vampire taught you that you have to watch out for _yourself_, old man? You have to watch your back. You have to do things that will benefit _you _in the long run. And Edward here? He's the key to getting them all on my side. Being on my side will keep them alive. Keeping them alive will make Alice happy, keep away her sadness. Keeping Alice happy will make me happy. See? It all comes around to helping me and my mate."

"Are you saying that I don't know how to take care of my mate?" Carlisle snarled.

"Did I say that?" He paused. "Huh. I guess I did."

Carlisle just glared.

And Edward broke free of the silence that was swallowing him whole. "Bella," he croaked.

Carlisle reached over to pat his son's other shoulder, the one opposite Jasper. "She'll forgive you, son," he whispered. "You didn't have control of yourself."

"Of course I did," he responded. His eyes flashed to Jasper's smug grin. "All he did was make me _feel better _about it! All he did was _suggest _it! He didn't force the blood down my throat, Carlisle! I drank willingly!" All of a sudden, the weight of the world was too much for his vampire body to deal with and he dropped to his knees. Bella's face was smiling at him in his mind, making his heart hurt with a pain he'd never felt before.

Carlisle shook his head. "No, Edward. He's making you think that!"

"He _can't _make me think that!" Edward yelled. "He can only make me feel _happy _about my actions! He can't change my thought processes!" He slapped a hand on his chest dramatically, gesturing to himself. "This is _me_, Carlisle! _Face it_!" He closed his eyes, thinking of Bella. "This is me." It was said to himself, now.

"Edward –"

"I need her," he said suddenly, leaping off the ground and brushing off the knees of his pants. "I need to see her."

"Perhaps that's not –"

"She'll make it better," Edward insisted. "She always makes everything better."

"Edward," Carlisle insisted.

Jasper smirked.

Edward didn't even feel surprise when his gentle, loving, peaceful father reached out and smacked his brother right across the face. The sound was similar to what a bolder would sound like if it were dropped onto a cement ground from a high plateau. The force must have been strong enough to send Jasper wavering. The smirk had, quite literally, been smacked right off him.

Edward didn't even notice the exchange at all, really.

"Edward," Carlisle continued when Jasper had been put down to a less smug state, "perhaps it isn't a good thing for Bella to see you so soon after – after your indulgence."

Edward ignored him. "Bella will fix it," he kept repeating. "Bella will fix it. She fixes everything."

"Edward," he heard again, but this time, the voice didn't have a name, even though it was the same person speaking as before. "Edward!"

The plea was in fain. Edward was gone, away from Port Angeles. He was going towards Forks.

…

Edward's dead heart told him exactly where to go, exactly where his Bella was. It was like her heartbeat was a magnet and his body was made of metal. He ran faster than he'd ever ran before.

Behind him, Carlisle was following, but failing. Edward had always been the fastest. Still, his father was trying to stop him. _Edward_, he thought at the same moment he called aloud, "Son! Stop!"

Edward didn't acknowledge him.

_Son, _Carlisle pleaded. _Please. She doesn't need to see you like this. Think for a moment, Edward! Your eyes are red – she's never seen them that way before. She'll be upset but I fear that your physical appearance will make it worse! And how do you know you can control yourself? What if you smell her blood and you can't stop yourself? Think of that guilt, Edward! Are you even –_

That hit a nerve in Edward's mind. He stopped abruptly, wheeling around to face the direction in which his father was following. "_What _did you just say?" he screamed, though Carlisle would have been able to hear him if he'd whispered.

Two seconds later, Carlisle came into view. He was still about two and a half miles back – too far away for Edward to see if he weren't a vampire – but he was striding forward with great intent. His thoughts were not apologetic. _Bella is human, _he thought. _She hasn't ever seen you like this, full of human blood. You have this new-found strength that you haven't had in _eighty years_. You aren't used to being this strong. Son, you could very easily mean to embrace her and snap her body in half by mistake. You need to stop and calm yourself._

"I _can't_," Edward snarled. He spun around and took off again, faster than a bullet from a gun, before the other vampire could catch up and force him to stop. "I can't _calm myself _without _Bella_. She fixes everything. She'll fix it – she'll help me."

"Edward!" But his son was far too long gone. Carlisle knew that. He sent a prayer up to Heaven, praying that Bella would be blessed with the strength to handle what was to come.

…

Bella gasped at the swift knock at her window. Though her mind automatically knew it was Edward, she felt her heart rate pick up. He was supposed to be hunting with Jasper. What was he doing home so early?

She dropped the hairbrush she'd been running through her mahogany locks and turned.

Thank God Charlie wasn't home, because the scream she let out would have brought him running for sure.

His eyes – oh, gosh, his _eyes_! – were the darkest red she'd ever seen. They widened as she met his gaze evenly, and she sucked in a frightened breath. "Oh, my," she breathed.

He stared back at her, gripping her window seal, waiting patiently. His head cocked to the side when she stumbled back a few steps, leaning against her dresser to avoid falling to her knees. She turned, facing away from her soul mate. There was only one reason Edward's eyes would be that color – that _blood red_ color that she'd always been afraid of. He'd fed, yes – but not on animals. She felt a sob roll through her as she thought about those wild eyes that she had always found comfort in. Her hand mindlessly rose to her throat as the shock shuttered through her.

"Bella," she heard him say, voice muffled through the glass, "are you going to let me in?"

She felt the tears spring from her eyes when she whipped her head around to look at him again. His expression turned alarmed when he saw the water dripping down her cheeks, a steady flow. His palm reached up to smack against the window impatiently. "Bella!"

Bella shook her head. She couldn't move, couldn't breathe, couldn't think.

He growled and the hand that was still holding the window tightened. She watched as he let go and disappeared from her view.

Silence.

But only for a second and a half.

The door – somewhere below her – was pounded on before the loud crash that could only be recognized as wood splitting in half echoed up the stairs, down the hallway, and into her bedroom.

She blinked, and he was there, standing in the doorway. His eyes – wide, frantic, and _so, so red_ – searched up and down her body, looking for any sign of injury or discomfort. When he found nothing, his gaze returned to hers.

And that's when the unsettling guilt and panic set into Edward's gut. _Oh, no_. It wasn't an _injury _that had Bella so upset, so frightened. _It's me_, he realized, the pain of it almost dropping him to his knees. _She's afraid of me_.

"Bella," he choked. "Bella – no, Bella – I'm sorry."

She took in a shaky breath but said nothing.

"Bella," he said again. She wasn't running, she wasn't screaming. Hope kindled deep in his silent heart – perhaps she would forgive him. This was his chance to gain her understanding. "Bella, I didn't mean to!" _Liar_, he scolded himself. He'd completely meant to. "I'm so sorry, Bella – I'm so sorry! It will never happen again, I promise! I'll be good, Bella, I swear, Bella, please!" He _did _drop to his knees, then, gasping and clutching his aching chest. He felt like his head would explode.

Bella's uneven breathing hitched again, and she took two steps. His eyes widened with joy as he realized she was bringing herself closer to him, but that happiness plummeted as he saw her plop uneasily, shakily onto the edge of her bed. He reached a hand towards her desperately, pleading with her with his tortured eyes.

Bella shook her head, swallowing the tears that she was trying to stop. This wasn't her Edward. Her Edward didn't hurt people. She would have to treat this Edward differently – she didn't know how he would react to her rejection. She needed to calm herself and embrace him and get all the facts.

She reached out a hand towards him and curled her fingers back towards herself, beaconing him to her.

He was at her side in a moment, hovering over her, arms braced on either side of her hips on the bed. His mouth was by her left ear as he leaned over her protectively. She stretched up to place one palm on his cheek, and those eyes of his closed. She took a deep breath, watching his face more easily now. He looked like her Edward when his eyes weren't staring at her.

"What happened?" she croaked.

His eyes flew open, reminding her of exactly what she'd been asking without words. But he opened his mouth to speak anyway. "Don't send me away," he pleaded. "Bella, please – I didn't mean to!" _Liar_, he yelled at himself again. His heart felt like it was going to fall out of his rock-hard chest and land in her lap. He was devastated at the look of heartbreak she wore on her face. "Bella, Bella, no! Please, please!" It was all he could say: pleas to keep her from dismissing him. He couldn't bear it if she sent him away without the affection he needed. He needed _her, _he needed Bella. No other comfort would do.

"Tell me," she said, and cleared her throat to help her raw voice. "Tell me," she tried again, "what happened."

"I went hunting," he whispered, dropping his face in her neck. Sucking in her scent, he somehow found the strength to stop his panicking. He was allowing him to caress her, hold her, protect her. That was a good sign. "I was with Jasper just like I said," he threw in. Perhaps if she knew he hadn't lied to her about where he'd gone and who he was with, she wouldn't be quite so angry.

"And you didn't hunt animals," she said so softly he could hardly hear, her voice flat and emotionless.

His face crumpled against her skin. "I didn't mean to . . . I mean, I didn't . . . I didn't _intend_ to, going out tonight. I didn't plan it ahead of time."

She shook her head. The smell of wet salt drifted up his nose and he squeezed his eyes shut. She was crying. She sniffled. "That doesn't make it better. You . . . you _killed _someone, Edward?"

"Yes," he mouthed. No sound came out, so he lifted his head to meet her gaze. He regretted it when she flinched at his blood-red pupils. He nodded, slipping his head back to his sanctuary in her throat. His own throat did not burn when he breathed in her smell. This would prove Carlisle wrong – Bella would never be in danger with him. Not when it came to Edward's control.

"Who?" Bella demanded weakly. Her fingers were rubbing soothing circles on Edward's scalp. His eyes drifted closed again, more slowly this time, gentle. He sighed. "Edward," she pressed.

"Hmm?" Oh, her fingers were magic. He'd forgotten completely that he was standing in front of her instead of sitting or kneeling.

"Who did you kill, Edward?"

He winced at her words. "I don't know."

Bella sobbed.

Edward's hands moved to her waist, picking her up as he spun to sit on her bed. He pulled her onto his lap, wrapping both arms around her, tightly clutching her to his chest but not too tightly as to hurt her. He would comfort her, and she would comfort him. They would push past this.

"I won't ever do it again," he swore into her ear.

Bella wrapped her arms around his neck, giving in and clinging to him with everything she had. That poor person, she thought, and sobbed more.

Edward's head was intruded with Alice's thoughts. _Edward. Jasper took care of the body. We know who it is. Do you . . . want to know? _Of course, she'd already been thinking the name when she'd ran up, and she was thinking it then. It wasn't something anyone could control.

His head snapped up suddenly and he glared out the window, snarling. "Go away," he growled at a speed too low and too fast for Bella to pick up. "Get away from here! Get away from _us_!"

"Control yourself, Edward." Edward hadn't realized Emmett had come with Alice, but that made sense. Carlisle had sent her with the information Jasper had somehow relayed to them, and he thought that Edward wasn't in control. Of course he would insist that Emmett come with Alice as back up, in case Edward attacked her. As if he would ever do that to his sister.

Well. She _was _thinking very rude things about him right then. Yes, he decided, he probably _would _have attacked the little pixie if Emmett hadn't been there to outnumber him.

"Edward," Bella whispered. Her sobs had calmed now, he noted with satisfaction. She was going to forgive him. "Edward, what are you thinking?"

He hummed as her fingers tangled in his wild head of hair, his thoughts instantly clouding into incoherent fragments. "Wha– " he mumbled.

Bella leaned up to press her lips to his jaw. He'd closed his eyes again, and so it was much easier to look at him. Those red eyes had to go very soon, she thought. "What are you thinking about?" she repeated. "Your expression looks . . . upset."

"Alice," he said unthinkingly, and instantly regretted it. He didn't want Bella to know that Alice was here, or Emmett. He wanted her for himself. He needed her attention.

"What's wrong with Alice?" she demanded, worry for her best friend sketching itself across her face. "Is she hurt?"

"Nothing," he answered. "Nothing at all. She's . . . at home."

_You liar_, Alice snarled at him in her thoughts. _When she's a vampire, you won't get away with all of your lies anymore. _

"She'll never be a vampire," he whispered, once again at a capacity that Bella wouldn't notice. "I won't allow it. I won't let her make the mistake I've made over and over again. I won't let her live with the . . . guilt."

"Edward," Bella whispered. "You're not going to do that again. Right?"

"Of course, love," he breathed, pressing his lips to her temple. "Never again."

"Do you promise?" she whispered. Yes, he had done an awful thing. That poor man, his family . . . they hadn't deserved this terrible fate. But she loved him still. Bella didn't think there was anything he could do to make her stop loving him. He was her soul mate.

"I promise, Bella," he responded feverishly. "I promise. I swear."

…

Bella's fingers twisted nervously in her lap as she stared out the window of the Cullens' living room, watching anxiously for Edward's return. He'd gone hunting – his first trip since the slip up.

"Emmett went with them this time, Bella," Alice soothed her, though it didn't work in her attempt to calm her nerves. "Jasper sees the error in his ways – I talked to him about it, remember? They're hunting animals. _Strictly _animals. Jasper knows the consequences that would come to him if he were to feed on a human again."

"That doesn't make me feel better," Bella whispered. "He's still gone, still out there, hunting. Anything could go wrong . . . a hunter, looking for deer . . . an innocent child looking for an adventure –"

"Oh, hush," Alice said. "Stop worrying."

"I can't!" Bella yelled.

"Well, try."

Bella shook her head, sighing. She didn't mean to argue with Alice. Alice wasn't the problem; the problem was Edward and his slip-ups. She couldn't stop remembering his eyes that day he'd come to her. Over the past few weeks, they'd turned to a dull maroon color as the blood was burnt off in his body, but Carlisle had told her that the topaz eyes she'd grown used to over her time as his girlfriend-slash-mate wouldn't return until he'd gone on a few hunting trips and had nothing but animal blood for about a month. She'd had nightmares of him killing her – something she hadn't told him or anyone about. They didn't need to know, but she was frightened that perhaps her dreams would come true.

Bella frowned, scolding herself. Edward would never hurt her. He loved her. It had only been a mistake, a one-time thing. He was back on track now.

Alice's phone was to her ear before it even rang. "Jasper," she said, and paused, listening. She nodded a few seconds later. "Yes. I know."

Bella sighed to herself, willing herself to pay attention to the movie that the two were watching. It was a romantic comedy, which she found very ironic. There was nothing funny about her love life right now. The happy character on the screen skipped up a sidewalk and ran straight into her love's arms. Bella longed to do that with Edward, but he wasn't here. He was out, hunting, killing –

_Stop it_, she scolded herself. _Geez. Why can't you just let it go? Alice isn't worried, so you shouldn't be either, Bella. C'mon. _

But then, when Bella glanced over to her best friend, Alice's smiling face changed. Her happiness turned to worry as the corner of her lips pulled down into a frown. Her eyes widened. "What do you mean?"

Bella sat up straighter. "Alice?"

She waved her off dismissively, gripping the phone to her ear more intensely. She shot her a look that said _be quiet, Bella. _"How did that happen, Jazz?"

Bella refused to be silent. "Alice! What's wrong?"

"Jasper!" she suddenly yelled, shooting up from the couch angrily. She paced the room, screaming urgently into her cell. Bella couldn't make out some of it, but bits and pieces were understandable. ". . . your responsibility! . . . Carlisle . . . so upset! . . . He'll be heartbroken! . . . Better find . . . too late!" She stopped, eyes wide. "No," she gasped, turning towards the door. "He's here."

_Edward_. Bella's heart sang. She stood on shaky legs and moved to peer out the window. His pale skin made him easy to pick out as he stood against the dark forest's edge. He must have seen her looking for him for in the next moment he was standing outside on the porch, watching the door. He put his hand on the doorknob and turned, but the door didn't open. Bella blinked and twisted to see what was keeping him from entering.

It was Alice, leaning desperately against the door to keep it closed.

"Alice?" she called. "Alice! Stop!"

Edward's fist pounded on the other side of the wood and with a speed too fast for Bella to follow, it flew open. Alice went flying into the wall across from the doorway, almost making it crumble with the force. But Bella didn't care about that. She was looking at Edward.

His clothes were absolutely perfect – not wrinkled, bloody, or torn. He looked exactly as he had when he walked out the door, promising to keep to the rules of the Cullen household with Jasper in tow.

Suddenly, a connection was made. _Your responsibility, _Alice had said to Jasper. _Better find . . . too late! _Jasper had lost track of Edward, and now he was here.

Bella lifted her eyes to his and gasped, stumbling back into the couch in fear.

Blood red.

"Bella," he pleaded, dropping down on his knees right there in the doorway. "Bella, please. I didn't mean to! It was an accident!"

_Better find . . . too late! _She imagined Alice had said, "You'd better find him before it's too late!" If that were the case, then it _was_. It was too late; he'd slipped. Again.

"Bella," he sobbed tearlessly. "Please, Bella!"

Could she forgive him? Again?

"Bella!" he yelled, though he hadn't moved from his spot.

She sucked in a deep breath and closed her eyes. "Edward," she whispered.

It only took a second for his arms to be wrapped around her, his face tucked in her neck. "Bella, I'm sorry."

"I know, Edward," she sighed softly.

"I'll never do it again," he swore.

But she couldn't believe him this time. She wanted to. She desperately wanted to.

"I love you," he whispered.

"I love you, too," she answered, "but you need help." She leaned back to glare up into his eyes. "And you're going to let Alice help you." She glanced at her friend to see her nodding in agreement. "You will never do this again."

* * *

**Author's Note: **

**This one-shot was . . . dark. Kind of creepy. Not the path I intended to go, but hey. Why not. **

**Check out my most recent work, other than this. It's a chapter story called Terminal. It's already complete and saved. A new chapter is added every Monday. The next chapter is coming! Be sure to catch up. If you like this, you'll probably like my other work. **

**My other one-shots might interest you if you enjoyed Comfort Me (this one-shot). Check them out and leave me a review! One-shot suggestions are always welcome. I'm not Edward; I can't ready your mind :). **

**Leave me a review and tell me what you thought. **

**Thanks for reading. **


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